Back bites - The week in quotes - What is the state of the roads in your area?

Wooden you believe it

Kiddie's telly hero Bob the Builder has followed in the footsteps of that other well known children's favourite Postman Pat to record a song. Actor Neil Morrisey, who is the voice of Bob, will provide vocals based on the programme's, er, catchy theme tune. Details of its title have yet to be released, but cover versions of Simon and Garfunkel's 'Bridge Over Troubled Wall-ter', Queen's 'We Wall Rock You', and Frankie Goes to Hollywood's 'Wall-come to the Pleasuredome' have been dismissed, as have tie-ups with football teams such as Wall-sall and Mill-wall if the song ever becomes a football anthem. How about the odd duet, too, with someone like MC Hammer or Jimmy Nail? Somebody stop me!

Wanted - good taste inspectors

When the question is asked "Who is the most unfashionable group in construction?", Keith Clarke, chief executive of Kvaerner, instantly muscles his way to the front of the queue shouting "We are". But how unfashionable is unfashionable? "Well we don't wear flares but I suspect we might," Clarke replies by way of explanation. We might? Oh come, come, either you do or you don't. Back bites would like to resolve the issue one way or the other. Photos of senior Kvaerner staff in flares welcome. Indiscretion guaranteed.

A stink in the tale

This, believe it or not, is a true story. After all, aren't all Back bites!

Homeowners in Cornwall have asked for the name of their street to be changed, not surprisingly, from Cowshit (apologies to any sensitive readers) Lane to Cowslip Lane. Golant Council, situated near Bodmin, discovered the name existed while drawing up a map to help visitors. Despite objections by villagers it has decided to keep the original name, but agreed to a compromise - no road sign will be put up. Instead, visitors will just have to breathe in deeply and let their feet carry them to the destination. "Relationships with clients, regulators, the public and suppliers can be improved with effective and more sustainable practices."

Peter Bransby, director general, CIRIA

See 'More than just', p14



"We wanted to avoid people finding reasons for not doing things. We were aiming at a positive approach."

Malcolm Butchert, project manager, Heery International

See 'Fast take offs,' p16 "The roads around Tonbridge are very well used but generally of a good standard. The traffic in the town itself is heavy, testament to the fact that the high street is the main road through Tonbridge. Links to London and the North are easy with the A21 connecting us to the M25. However, south of Tonbridge the A21 bottlenecks in single file traffic, which can lead to frustrating queues at peak times. There are many ongoing maintenance and traffic schemes in our region, giving us a good infrastructure for our business." "I am delighted that the Government has recently had a change of mind and now decided to make what I consider to be a much needed and overdue financial investment to our highway infrastructure. Any improvement to the roads and traffic conditions within the Midlands is bound to be welcomed by not only the construction industry, but by long-suffering motorists. There is clearly work to be done and we look forward to making our contribution to improving the situation."