The Foreman

I was interested to see this week's "photo of the week". I've seen lemmings who take more care not to fall from height than this bunch. It's pretty shocking. But at the same time I'm thinking, hmm, taking just six hours to replace a whole roof is pretty impressive. I know, it's wrong. But I've got good reason. I decided to pay some local joker to re-roof my house recently and it's already been well over a month since the original agreed start date and still nothing. Not one tile has been removed. Oh sure, I've got three pallets of Redland Type 49 tiles, a skip, a whole load of battens and some scaffolding sitting outside my house. But it hasn't been touched for weeks. After hiding behind the old bad weather excuse for a while, my roofer recently changed tack as the sun started peeping out from behind the clouds more regularly. His latest story is that he has a really bad case of whiplash after borrowing a mate's van, only for the wheel to fall off while he was bombing down an A-road. He's now having physio and the pain is apparently so much that he can't even lift a phone to his ear to explain to me why he's such a lazy toad. Meanwhile Mrs Foreman is already readying the divorce papers because she's fed-up of collecting rainwater in a bucket. Expect a full naming and shaming in a couple of weeks' time unless our man gets his act together...