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Oh, Darling! You make me green with envy.

How I envy someone like yourself, in a position of such power, yet so inured to the responsibilities that come with it that you think a budget announcing ‘£26 million funding next year for a Green Homes Service to help people cut their carbon emissions and their fuel bills’ is a major step forward.

Or how you can reconcile yourself to saying you will ‘consult’ on achieving (note – not achieve, but 'consult' on achieving) ‘targets with the potential to save 75 million tonnes of carbon dioxide over the next thirty years’. Of course, 75 million tonnes seems a lot, even over 30 years, until you consider the scale of our current annual output: 560.6m tonnes in 2006. In this context, even announcing that ‘new non-domestic buildings will become zero-carbon from 2019’ – that’s eleven years away – seems like little more than rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Oh, Darling, how you must sleep well at night.

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